Traumatized from previous health scares

by Chelseaannb (New) New Nurse

Specializes in Internal Medicine. Has 11 years experience.

I’m hoping someone can help me. I was on mat leave at the start of Covid. I came back around 18 months since it started. I’m currently casual/per diem so I pick up when I can. Here’s my back story. Both of my babies were NICU babies. Neither was premature or expected to, but my first was lethargic at home, not peeing, took her to emerg, she went unresponsive. Transferred to NICU. Second was born, about 4 hours after, went limp and blue, unresponsive. Worked on and sent to NICU. I never thought it would happen again and it did. These events combined with post partum depression were horrible. I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd since. My unit is current one side non-iso and the other side has now turned into a Covid unit. Today I asked if I could be assigned to the non iso side before coming in. They said they can’t change it which in turn led to a full panic attack for me. I ended up calling in an I felt horrible. I understand Covid is everywhere and I’m wearing PPE. But I just mentally can’t handle knowingly working with Covid positive patients when I have immunocompromised kids at home. 

I just feel so stupid. I get too that I’m not the only one with kids. But I swear if this stuff hadn’t happened with the kids I’d be a lot better. Right now I get images in my head and flashbacks of them in the hospital on o2 struggling. And it’s easy for me because I’ve already seen them like that. I’m not sure what to do. I feel pathetic. 


Has 44 years experience. 8,356 Posts

Do what is best for your family.  Best of luck to you. 


2,453 Posts

4 hours ago, Chelseaannb said:

But I just mentally can’t handle knowingly working with Covid positive patients when I have immunocompromised kids at home. 

Honestly, I am not sure what the question is, but the answer is above.

Work is a transaction, like any other transaction.  You are selling time and expertise, the hospital is buying it.  Either party can set any restrictions they like, and the other can agree or not.  

You are offering to work in the non-iso side.  If they need somebody to work the iso side, it will need to be somebody who is willing to work there.  If a condition of your relationship with the hospital is that they get to decide where you work, it looks like this isn't a good fit.

You don't owe anybody anything.  Remove emotions from the equation.  Offer what you are willing to do, and if that is what they are looking for, great.  If not, and you need the work, now is a great time to find nursing work.


Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis. Has 25 years experience. 20,933 Posts

I agree you should do what is best  for your young family. There's a lot of time to work. Kids grow up so fast. It's OK to be protective Mama. Work will always be there.

If you can't work non-ISO then you may either want to find another job where you can do this or just stop working for a bit to protect your young babies.

Good luck.