How would you have handled this situation?

Updated | Posted
by Ashlee59 Member Nurse Student

Specializes in Home health.

How would you feel in this situation, advice needed: 

Family 1: You're a nurse for the child but the child is in the hospital. Your job gets you temporary placement pdn placement to help out with family 2.

Family 2: It's day 1 orientation. While here temporarily I  felt things went great. Then near the end of your shift the mom says, "I feel like your loyalty is to the other family so I don't feel like you're all in with my child. So, I will be looking through other agencies for another nurse. There will be a day where I tell the agency don't send you because I will be meeting other nurses who can work here permanently. And I don't know if you're going to stick to family 1 or be with us." 

So you tell your employer, "I won't return because you feel like the mom of family 2 wasn't pleased with your work." Yet mom of family 2 tells your employer they liked you after saying the above things to you. Would you still want to work with family 2? or would you feel like family 2 didn't like you?

Kitiger, RN

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics. Has 43 years experience. 1,639 Posts

It's a temporary placement. What's your problem?

Ashlee59

Specializes in Home health. 47 Posts

2 hours ago, Kitiger said:

It's a temporary placement. What's your problem?

To the mom? Yeah I'm like completely confused by what she was saying. Would you have returned back to the home after mom said that to you? It was my first day there and per request parents like to orient the nurses on the first day. Her comment at the end of my shift threw me off and made me on comfortable.  

amoLucia

Specializes in retired LTC. 7,641 Posts

If you're getting weird vibes now, it'll only go further down. Just let your agency know upfront & quickly.

Family will say WHATEVER to the agency just to save 'their face'. But it most  likely will leave you hanging high & dry. People DO LIE.

Your choice is to stay and get paid, or decline the case and deal with your finances. And your agency. 

Kitiger, RN

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics. Has 43 years experience. 1,639 Posts

21 hours ago, Ashlee59 said:

how would you feel in this situation, advice needed: 

family 1: you're a nurse for the child but the child is in the hospital .Your job gets you temporary placement pdn placement to help out with family 2.

family 2: Its day 1 orientation. While here temporarily I  felt things went great. Then near the end of your shift the mom says, " I feel like your loyalty is to the other family so I don't feel like you're all in with my child. so I will be looking through other agencies for another nurse. so there will be a day where I tell the agency don't send you because I will be meeting other nurses who can work here permanently. And I don't know if you're going to stick to family 1 or be with us. " 

so you tell your employer ," I won't return because you feel like the mom of family 2 wasn't pleased with your work." Yet mom of family 2 tells your employer they liked you after saying the above things to you. Would you still want to work with family 2? or would you feel like family 2 didn't like you?

Yes, I would have returned to the home. Why not? This is a fill-in job while your regular kiddo is in the hospital. You're telling the mom that you don't intend to stay, and she is telling you that she needs a nurse who wants regular, ongoing hours.

She said she liked you; that's not the problem. The fact is, she does need a nurse to work regular hours.

If I were in that mom's place and had the choice between having you come - not knowing when you will abruptly leave - or starting a new nurse who planned to stay on the case, I'd take the new nurse. 

Ashlee59

Specializes in Home health. 47 Posts

2 hours ago, amoLucia said:

If you're getting weird vibes now, it'll only go further down. Just let your agency know upfront & quickly.

Family will say WHATEVER to the agency just to save 'their face'. But it most  likely will leave you hanging high & dry. People DO LIE.

Your choice is to stay and get paid, or decline the case and deal with your finances. And your agency. 

Thank you, you get it. Yes she came across as wishy washy manipulative and pushy. She did seem like she was trying to save face by saying she really liked me to the agency yet when me and her talked she just gave weird vibes rather quickly.  The agency kept saying no she loves you and she was crying saying she would never want to make a nurse feel as if she wasn't wanted. IDK this agencies set of families give me weird vibes as a whole. And I agree she was definitely trying ti come off as an angel to the agency yet that particular family hasn't had a nurse in 2 months.  Says a lot about the home . So I was already weary if that . Bc usually left over cases are the ones no one wants

Edited by Ashlee59
Additional info added

Ashlee59

Specializes in Home health. 47 Posts

6 minutes ago, Kitiger said:

Yes, I would have returned to the home. Why not? This is a fill-in job while your regular kiddo is in the hospital. You're telling the mom that you don't intend to stay, and she is telling you that she needs a nurse who wants regular, ongoing hours.

She said she liked you; that's not the problem. The fact is, she does need a nurse to work regular hours.

If I were in that mom's place and had the choice between having you come - not knowing when you will abruptly leave - or starting a new nurse who planned to stay on the case, I'd take the new nurse. 

I'm confused on the "what's your problem?"  Who are you referring to?  There is no new nurse.  what are you talking about?

Edited by Ashlee59
Additional info added

Kitiger, RN

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics. Has 43 years experience. 1,639 Posts

3 minutes ago, Ashlee59 said:

I'm confused on the "what's your problem?"  Who are you referring to?  There is no new nurse.  what are you talking about?

I said, "It's a temporary placement. What's your problem?" I was referring to you, "your problem", the fact that you don't want to work in that home because you think the mom doesn't like you.

The mom said, "I will be looking through other agencies for another nurse. so there will be a day where I tell the agency don't send you because I will be meeting other nurses who can work here permanently."

I'm talking about the mom saying that she is looking for "other nurses who can work here permanently". There is no new nurse yet, but the mom is looking for one.

That's what I'm talking about.

Ashlee59

Specializes in Home health. 47 Posts

12 minutes ago, Kitiger said:

I said, "It's a temporary placement. What's your problem?" I was referring to you, "your problem", the fact that you don't want to work in that home because you think the mom doesn't like you.

The mom said, "I will be looking through other agencies for another nurse. so there will be a day where I tell the agency don't send you because I will be meeting other nurses who can work here permanently."

I'm talking about the mom saying that she is looking for "other nurses who can work here permanently". There is no new nurse yet, but the mom is looking for one.

That's what I'm talking about.

AmoLucia picked up on it well. I don't think you're understanding the big picture. Mom didn't need to disclose any of that to me. That was a manipulative pushy tactic on her end to get me to say ," oh no don't ill stay here in work permanently". I'm not going to say that to a family I barely met that day and oriented with.  Why? Because I do not know them or the child yet.  So there was no need for the mom to approach me with any of that. If anything that should've been a talk she should have with the agency not me. As a result of her lack of professionalism I declined. Makes sense why they haven't had a nurse in 2 months.  You've missed the bigger picture here which is something AmoLucia recognized.  And if she didn't want temp she could've declined from the start. If she's like this with me now imagine if I would've took the case . 

Edited by Ashlee59
Additional info added

amoLucia

Specializes in retired LTC. 7,641 Posts

OP - you're staffing for skilled care nsg? Yes? I'm not 1000% sure, but seems to me Mom just WANTS a nurse, ANY nurse. What happens in PDN if a nurse is unavail and the fam must do the care? Will that eventually 'disqualify' the family for future nsg??? 

Is there a HHA assigned for domestic services? Or might the nurses be being inappropriately suckered into home household duties?

Mom seems to have 2 stories which sounds like she's spinning to keep nurses coming. I'd be curious re the care plan & services.

JMO but something isn't sitting right.

Ashlee59

Specializes in Home health. 47 Posts

9 hours ago, amoLucia said:

OP - you're staffing for skilled care nsg? Yes? I'm not 1000% sure, but seems to me Mom just WANTS a nurse, ANY nurse. What happens in PDN if a nurse is unavail and the fam must do the care? Will that eventually 'disqualify' the family for future nsg??? 

Is there a HHA assigned for domestic services? Or might the nurses be being inappropriately suckered into home household duties?

Mom seems to have 2 stories which sounds like she's spinning to keep nurses coming. I'd be curious re the care plan & services.

JMO but something isn't sitting right.

She's looking to sucker nurses into household duties, teaching her school lessons, doing her PT,OT,and speech with her aswell. You've must've been in homecare for a while because you've picked up on so much that I've noticed without me having to mention.  They haven't had a nurse for 2 months so like you've mentioned something isn't right.  I feel I dodged a bullet with this one. I've noticed that too her stories do not add up. That's another reason I backed out

Kitiger, RN

Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics. Has 43 years experience. 1,639 Posts

PT, OT, and Speech Therapy all fall within a private duty nurse's regular therapy. We do the day-to-day therapies under the direction of the specialists.

We work on ADLs, we do range of motion. When they need help with speech/swallowing/eating, we do that. Obviously, when physical and safety needs are greater, we prioritize these, but we take care of the whole person.

No, I don't do household chores. But I do keep up with inventory and ordering supplies (with parent's approval). And I change the vent circuit weekly, and clean & sanitize reusable supplies like nebulizers and feeding syringes, etc..

OP, if the mom's stories don't add up, or if you feel that something isn't right, you can certainly decline the case.  I don't mean to argue with you on that.